KOREAN GOVERNMENT SET TO OFFER FREE CHEWING GUM TO ELDERLY

The Korean Government of Lee Myung Bak has announced that beginning 2012, all elderly citizens over the age of 60 will receive free chewing gum.

Critics have labelled the move as pure politics in an attempt to woo old age voters towards the Grand National Party ahead of Next years elections. Others view the decision as one of considerable patriotism.

It is believed that several ajummas are currently in secret training ahead of the 2012 World Chewing Gum Championship to be held in Havana, Cuba.

It is furthermore believed that these ajummas will initially attempt to break the Guiness world record of sound by holding a mass ajumma chewing session at Seoul World Cup soccer stadium.

All those who participate will receive a free gold melon and a sun visor cap. A record attendance is expected.

A mini movie theater will show Dokdo Island documentaries and Kim Chee will be sold in popcorn containers.

A spokesman for President Lee said” The free chewing gum provides a financial relief to the elderly. Any notion of political nepotism is firmly rejected by the President. The Lee administration further insists that the chewing gum will help with jaw exercise and therefore reduce the risk of arthritis by at least 37%. ”

President Lee was not directly available for comment as he is currently on vacation sightseeing at an anonymous herbal farm.

 

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About rodneyromb

Rodney Romb, Olympic figure skater wannabe, tow-truck driver, foot massuesse and part-time band manager shares the latest insights, news and opinions on current and future news-media issues.
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