MAN VS WILD EPIDEMIC: SEVERAL ADMITTED TO MENTAL INSTITUTION

“Scores of citizens in the city of Sofia, Bulgaria were said to be admitted to a local mental institution, in what is being described as a strangely bizarre epidemic known as: Man VS Wild Syndrome.

In reference to the popular Discovery Channel television show featuring Bear Grylls, sufferers allegedly think they are Bear Grylls himself. They suffer delusions which leads to attempted reenactments of survival techniques from the show in their household environments.

“It is endangering people’s lives.” said Aleksandar Arnost, a local reporter covering the events.

There have been conflicting reports of what kind of behavior has occurred.

A local plumber nearly suffocated after attempting to sleep inside his washing machine, convinced he was deep in the mountains of Borneo.

In another incident, a stock broker, striped his Lexus automobile of all its parts.He then proceeded to ignite his mother-in-laws mahogany tea cabinet, with the aid of the car battery.

The man later claimed that he needed fire against the cold of the Alaskan mountains.

In a recent incident, an elderly lady attempted to use her false teeth to open a can of baked beans. Sources say this is unrelated to Bear Grylls syndrome.

A local man, who wished to remain anonymous is extremely perturbed by recent events. He had to witness his wife attempt to make a camp in their lounge with an imported Harrods shower curtain.

“At the moment events seem to be under control”, said Slavin Slone, a spokesman for the Bulgarian Government. He has urged the public to remain vigilant and on to be on the lookout for possible symptoms that he calls sudden desires.

A sudden desire to watch or download episodes of the hit 80’s TV series Macgyver. A sudden desire to get a Richard Dean Anderson haircut. A sudden desire to absail down the side of your house by unusual means. A sudden desire to purchase a pocket knife or any form of survival equipment

“At the moment, the metal institution is off-limits to the public however we do hope it becomes a tourist attraction within one year.” added Slone.

The Government will be accepting tenders from next month.

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About rodneyromb

Rodney Romb, Olympic figure skater wannabe, tow-truck driver, foot massuesse and part-time band manager shares the latest insights, news and opinions on current and future news-media issues.
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